“A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], But the LORD directs his steps and establishes them.” (Proverbs 16:9)
“Hello, my name is Jackie McKool and I am a planner addict.” There, I’ve said it! But the truth is, I never realized until more recently that this had become a problem for me. For as far back as I can remember I have written out goals, and action steps, and to-do lists. I have even encouraged others in these very blogs, my courses I teach, presentations I’ve given, as well as my book on the importance of goals and action steps. And I do still encourage this – but… in balance.
I guess these learned behaviors go way back – further back than I even realized. I was visiting with a friend recently with whom I used to sell real estate with. I was telling her how I was in the process of “de-programming” myself from this obsession with planning, which has overflowed into an obsession with time as well. In fact, if this boat of time-management, and my plans ever got rocked – look out! I could become like a bear in a heartbeat! I became so guarded and possessive with my time and planning that it almost became an idol. If somebody disrespected my time, and my plans I could even become resentful if I didn’t watch it. (see my blog “Do You Unknowingly Have Idols in Your Life?”) You see, just like everything else with our lives, these behaviors are wholistic too – when one area is out of balance, it throws the other areas of our lives out of balance as well. My friend said she could remember me sitting at my real estate desk writing out my to-do lists. Wow, that was 40 years ago!
I got to thinking of where I had learned these habits – which in, and of themselves are not bad habits or behaviors. I thought back to one of my first administrative jobs I had, over 40 years ago too – this was as close as I came to working in the “corporate” world, as an administrative assistant for the Milk and Ice Cream Association in Washington, D.C. I recall observing the executives, including the one I worked for, writing out objectives, and goals and action steps as part of their annual planning meetings. Another scenario, collectively as a whole team, the employees all had to keep track of how we spent our time for a whole week. We did this on a typed up empty calendar that we filled in – by hand, in 15-minute increments. Time management. This was discipline that I’m sure was valuable for such a large organization, but this habit was seeds planted that would later grow into a “time management monster” for me!
On to the next career – selling real estate. I was sent to a “Sweat Hogs Boot Camp” – an intensive 10-week sales training seminar on how to increase my real estate sales revenue. I can still recite the mantra that was drilled into us at that boot camp “ring the doorbell, smile, pay them a complement, take them to the kitchen table…” Okay, point proven! That was probably where I learned to make “to do” lists to improve my sales performance (I hate sales to this day to be honest with you!.) The same lists I was making that my friend recalled observing me do all those many years ago. Again, discipline, goals, action steps.
Next, I carried those skills and behaviors on into chiropractic school. I’ve talked about this in my blogs “Are You Ready for 2025?” and in my book “Are You Being Deceived About True Wellness”. My schooling was quarterly, therefore I broke my goals and action steps down to fit this time frame for my “achieve by date.”
Once I set up my chiropractic practice, I really put my obsession with Objectives, Goals, Action Steps and To-Do lists into high gear – starting when I contracted with a practice management company and the first thing I was tasked with doing, before even opening the doors, was to write out a business plan – oh boy, while this was new, it fed right into my “organizer and planner” obsessed personality that had become engrained in my way of thinking and life by this point. In fact, I probably started believing that the only way to succeed in life is if you had goals and action steps, and a plan written out. I was now operating out of a place of fear – that if I didn’t do these things, consistently, and to the “T” I would fail. Along with this assignment, I also attended another boot camp – this time for chiropractors and how to grow a thriving practice to help as many people as possible, but in reality the subliminal message was to make money. Goals and discipline were a big part of this 4-day boot camp.
Moving forward into the next phase of life, I was trained and certified by one of the top leadership gurus of the 21st century, John Maxwell, in speaking, training and coaching. Do you think goals and action steps were part of this program? You betcha! Once again, the quiet message was about the bottom line proverbial dollar. The dollar was becoming the measuring stick, and the means to success was to have goals and action steps and to make the best use of every hour in every day.
Next, while working as the development director and fundraiser for a non-profit, I was immersed into more training – this time specifically learning how to plan to raise funds and achieve those goals each year. In addition to specific fund-raising training, I was also inundated with leadership training in this season of my life. Wow, even as I write this I am beginning to see the pattern and connection: successful planning, goals, action steps and best use of my time “work smarter not harder” = dollars. And if I didn’t make money, I was a failure.
Can you see how all of this training, in a variety of careers over the span of my lifetime simply became a part of who I was and how I operated? I truly became dependent on this way of living. I was so engrained in this way of life that I was always a little shocked to learn that not everybody functioned through life with goals and action steps as their driver. I just couldn’t imagine how they made it in life!
Why Goal-Setting Became a Problem
Fast forward, I have found myself in a new season of life. I am no longer employed by anyone. My priorities in life have shifted and changed, but my mindset was still stuck in old ways of thinking. The analogy that God has brought to my mind is He is wanting to pour “new wine” into my life, but I can no longer be the “old wineskin” – He wants to do a new thing in me, but I have to surrender the old.
As He spoke this to me, He was also shedding light on why I was struggling so much. Over all of these years of training and molding – goal-setting, action steps, to-do lists – I became dependent on these tools to direct my life – rather than being open to what only the Holy Spirit should be doing. It became an obsession, an addiction in ways. I was setting goals that were purely self-imposed. Goals that were meant to create purpose and importance, rather than following the prompting of the Holy Spirit – my ears had become hardened in a sense. I turned into a robotic “human doing” that I created, instead of the God-created “human being.”
It seems everywhere I see and hear, a seemingly successful person is telling me how to succeed in life, starting with goals and action steps of course. But by this point in my life, I have been finding myself saying “been there, done that” and in turn, these words of wisdom from the successful were just leading to thoughts of failure and unworthiness. But these weren’t God’s thoughts about me, they were only my self-imposed measuring sticks.
As a side note, let me say – there is absolutely nothing wrong with having goals and action steps and to-do lists – in balance. Especially if you know beyond a shadow that God is calling you to pursue His purpose for your life. These can be great tools to stay on track.
But I was living my life 24/7 guided by some heavily self-imposed rules. I was so used to the 40+ hour work week that I lived for 50+ years, that if I came to the end of a week, and I hadn’t filled my week with at least 40 hours of what I deemed productive work for the Kingdom, then I was lazy, and tremendous guilt would set in. I found that guilt leading to irritability and at times down right anger. This was in no way coming from God.
Where Do I Go from Here?
So, I am currently on a journey of “de-programming” and shedding my “old wine skin.” I have surrendered to God’s calling to me – to a season of sabbatical rest with Him. Cleaning the slate – removing any and all self-imposed obligations off of my calendar. I am working towards shaking off the “time management” chains and surrendering to moving more freely as the Spirit leads for now. This includes stepping back from my weekly obligations of Toastmasters meetings – not just as a member, but as an officer of our Club. I am even stepping back for now from the self-imposed obligation of writing one blog a week (which I’ve consistently done for over 2 years now) – come hell or high water, I had to do this. Well – no more. You might not see a blog from me for a few weeks, maybe even a month. Or maybe you’ll see a flooding of thoughts and observations as the Spirit leads. Only God knows for sure right now what that schedule will look like. But I can say this much, each day I eagerly anticipate not only what the day will hold, but also what door He might be opening for me next – whenever that will be. But whatever it is, it will be for His Kingdom and His glory.
I am wanting to clear the muddied waters off my mind and heart for the moment, of any, and all goals and action steps, so that I can hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, prompting me to move this way or that – just as the wind blows. So that as I learned years ago through Henry Blackaby’s Bible study “Experiencing God” — I can see clearly where God is at work and go there. Whether it be to a neighbor next door, or a stranger half-way around the world – who knows? Only God. I want to be so present in His presence that when I smell the dew drenched honeysuckle as I take my morning power walks with Him, I am reminded His presence is real and is right there alongside of me.
I used to pray quite often years ago “Lord take me higher, take me further, take me deeper into Your Presence.” I want to revive that prayer once again.
I have not let go of everything. Some things I feel He is still guiding me to keep on my daily calendar. Quiet time spent with Him. Taking care of my temple, the body He has created me to reside in – along with Him. I’m eating the foods He has created for me. In fact, He has stirred a new interest in me – gardening. I am learning to grow the things with my own hands to be the medicine of my body. I am still getting my exercise, drinking plenty of water and obtaining quality sleep. Some things are just foundational, that I innately know need to stay on my “to-do” list – in balance.
The other thing of value that I believe He is calling me to, and to always be mindful of is first, to stay in communion with Him – always, every day. But next to that is communion with others. Whether that means spending time or staying in touch with family and friends, or simply passing on a smile to a total stranger who may need it and I don’t even know it.
As a result of surrendering my plans and my time to Him, I have been finding myself in a tremendous place of peace. Tremendously so. I am really learning to recognize what His peace truly feels like, that the minute I lose that peace, I know it. I know I have taken my eyes off Him – I know my heart has moved from His heart to something of the world. And I am quicker these days to turn from whatever robbed me of His peace, and back towards Him. I believe this amazing sense of peace is beginning to overflow into more love in my heart, more joy in my life, more patience – whoa, I sure need that! And an overflow into all of the other gifts and fruits of the Spirit. How could it not when I continually seek to stay in His presence? While there certainly are days and times that I have to interact with the world, but because I am allowing myself to spend more time in His presence, His Spirit is more apt to pour out of me and the overflow of His love for me onto others and the strangers I may encounter. I believe that is the primary purpose of this sabbatical season I am entering into – to soak up more of His presence. To learn more of Who He is – His character – and become more of an imitator of Him.
In Summary
While I have just given you a confession of the Planner I was, I also hope that this has encouraged you in some way too. Perhaps God has been calling you to surrender something to Him. Maybe it’s something that keeps you from depending on Him more, rather than yourself or someone else. Maybe it’s something that is keeping you apart from Him. Something you’ve idolized, or even a hidden sin in your life. I encourage you to surrender it to Him. Seek Him and His presence. Make this your starting point each day and go from there.
I will leave you with this Surrender Prayer that my spiritual director shared with me several years back – the word surrender, and the act of surrendering has been guiding my life more and more these days.
The Gift of Surrender
“The Gift of Surrender is that:
I no longer need to protect myself.
I no longer need to do everything I want to do.
I no longer need to do everything I think I should do.
I no longer need to defend myself.
Instead, I am surrendering to You Who will accompany me each step of the way.”
I encourage you to truly meditate on these words – what are you protecting yourself from – I don’t necessarily think it means literal physical protection, but perhaps emotional, or mental? What is it you want to do, but the Lord is pulling you away from? What is it you think you need to be doing, but He is telling you differently? What do you find yourself being defensive about that you might need to surrender to Him? I have, or have had answers for all of these over the years. But peace always comes when I surrender to Him. I pray it blesses and strengthens you and brings you peace as you surrender to Him as it has me.
Here are the June blogs based on the “Word from the Lord” vision in case you missed them –
“A Word From the Lord About Our Health”
“What Does God and the Bible Say About Gluttony?”
“What Does the Bible say About Slothfulness?
“Do You Unknowingly Have Idols in Your Life?
“Why Intimacy with God?”
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